Ever felt like you get talked down to, called names, or made to feel small all the time? Chances are that you may be dealing with a grandiose narcissist.
To them, they can only feel superior if you appear inferior. That’s why they’re so quick to insult, belittle, and mock others, it strokes their fragile ego.
Table of Contents
Grandiose vs. Vulnerable Narcissism
Psychologists generally classify narcissism into two categories:
- Grandiose Narcissism: extroverted, competitive, status-obsessed, envious, and outwardly confident.
- Vulnerable Narcissism: introverted, insecure, avoidant, and with low self-esteem.
If you continue to be insulted or belittled, you’re likely dealing with the grandiose type, the comparison-provoking one.
Why Narcissists Insult You
“You’re an idiot!” or “You’re the worst I’ve ever known” are not arbitrary. They have a purpose:
- Ego boosting – Making fun of you makes them feel intelligent and powerful.
- Attention seeking – Public humiliation turns heads and brings the light on them.
- Exerting control – If you react, they seem powerful; if you remain silent, they seem clever.
They even insult groups that are not around “Those people are so stupid” to connect with others and form an “us against them” mindset.
Narcissists in Courtrooms
Legal disputes tend to bring the worst of them out. Rather than relying on facts, a narcissist might resort to cheap shots on someone’s intelligence, morals, or even their sanity. Though it may influence opinions, most judges and juries will ultimately catch on, it just makes the narcissist appear petty and heartless.
Narcissists Online
The internet is a testing ground for abusive personalities. Shielded by monitors, pompous narcissists throw insults, trolls, and personal abuse with impunity. Research indicates that cyberbullies are often the very same individuals who bully in person. Normal people generally walk away from such abuse, but narcissists live on it.
Public Labeling and “Diagnosis”
You’ve probably heard someone say, “You’re such a narcissist!” These labels are often thrown as insults, not as real psychological analysis. Ironically, people who loudly accuse others of being narcissists in public often turn out to be narcissistic themselves.
Why Their Insults Aren’t About You
Here’s the truth: their insults have little to do with you. You’re just a prop in their performance. Deep down, grandiose narcissists are insecure, thin-skinned, and desperate for validation. Their attacks reveal their lack of empathy and fragile self-worth not your flaws.
How to Respond to a Grandiose Narcissist
Dealing with one isn’t easy, but here are smart ways to respond:
- Remain calm and concise – A mere “I disagree” is more effective than lashing out.
- Change the subject – In public or online, say: “I’d rather stick to the facts.”
- Employ the BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) – Example: “Thank you for your opinion. Here’s information I can give you…”
- Walk away if necessary – Your peace is more valuable than winning an argument.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, when a narcissist calls you an idiot, what they are really reflecting is themselves, not you. Their taunts are a reflection of their own insecurity, not your value.
Knowing how to recognize and react to narcissistic behavior helps you safeguard your energy and reminds you that their words are nothing but noise.
