Belonging at work isn’t just about fitting in, it’s about being valued for who you truly are. Through consistency, appreciation, trust, and empathy, any organization can create a culture where people don’t just strengthen the workplace, they help it grow.
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Lessons from “How to Train Your Dragon”
In the movie How to Train Your Dragon (and its 2025 live-action remake), a Viking boy named Hiccup grows up in a society where the stronger you are at killing dragons, the better. But Hiccup is different from the rest. He’s curious, he’s kind, and he’s not like everyone else.
When he starts to know and outwit dragons, the same individuals who teased him begin to welcome him. However, deep down, he is still not at home.
This is reminiscent of many contemporary workplaces where employees who “fit in” are known and honored, but those who bring new ideas often go unnoticed. In Strong Ground, Brené Brown’s latest book, true success today is when businesses appreciate individuals for who they are rather than for how well they fit in.
When We Miss Each Other
Years back, when I was employed by the U.S. State Department, I coordinated a high-profile event in Senegal. All was perfectly fine except for one aspect. At the closing ceremony, I expressed thanks to each and every dignitary and partner but neglected to thank Danielle, our in-country advisor who had made it all feasible.
I had done all that a good leader should do delivered results, formed partnerships but I had not made one person on my team feel seen and valued.
I learned from that moment a critical leadership lesson: people don’t require money or motivation; they require to feel that they matter. As psychologist Dan Siegel states, “We need to feel felt.”
“That’s Not the Culture Here”
In most workplaces, you’ll get, “That’s not the culture here.” What it really means is: “We brought you on board because you’re different, but now we need you to fit in with everyone else.
Even I’ve had that happen. In a government position, I once began a meeting with two minutes of mindfulness. My supervisor afterwards said, “You have to learn how to read the room.” It wasn’t mean-spirited, but it left me feeling small that my style of leading with calm and connection didn’t fit.
Workplaces flourish when we respect differences rather than suppressing them.
The Power of Relational Leadership
Leadership is not only about giving feedback or managing performance, it’s about establishing relationships built on trust, empathy, and respect.
Brené Brown refers to this kind of relational leadership: leading with courage and care. It’s about demonstrating to people that even when you give feedback, you still care for them as human beings.
Let me imagine if my boss had said instead:
“I appreciate your attempt to bring peace and connection to the team. Let’s work on how to make it better for all of us.”
That would have opened a door rather than closing one.
4 Ways to Build Belonging at Work
Building belonging is something that every employee and every leader can do. Here are four simple ways to get started:
1. From Regret to Repair
Don’t sweep errors under the carpet. Say, “Let me do it again.” Vulnerability and accountability forge trust quicker than pretending nothing has occurred.
2. From Recognition to Appreciation
Recognition applauds what’s been done; appreciation values how it’s been done. Be specific. Tell your team why their individual contributions counted.
3. From Packed Agendas to Connection Time
Create time for authentic human moments small talk, laughter, or sharing life news. Authentic connection forges strong teams.
4. From Occasional to Everyday Action
Belonging is not created at off-site or at retreats. It occurs every day in the hallway, over lunch, or with a brief “thank you.”
The Ripple Effect of Belonging
At the conclusion of How to Train Your Dragon, Hiccup doesn’t conquer the dragons he allies himself with them. His empathy converts fear into solidarity and alters his whole village.
That’s what belonging does at work. When individuals feel appreciated for being who they are, they don’t merely fit into the culture; they help raise it up.
In a time of uncertainty and accelerated change, that’s the “strong ground” every organization should have a workplace based on belonging, empathy, and trust.
